More advice for my daughter

• Do not forget that everyone has their story. Take time to listen to others, even when you are bursting to talk
• Smile at everyone, even someone who may not be your favorite person
• Always call if you are going to be late
• Never cancel a date at the last minute - unless it is a true emergency: this includes, death (yours or others), having a tire blow out, your car dying on the way  - you get the picture
• Manners count - make sure yours are good ones
• Include all the kids in the game - even those you don't know - you might make a new friend
• Brush your teeth AND your tongue.  No one likes halitosis
• Exercise is worth it
• Grow things - vegetables, flowers, herbs on a window sill - green and growing things are good for the soul
• Friends will come and go in this life, but your brothers are your brothers forever, and they love you
• A piece of chocolate won't kill you, just don't over do it
• You are never too old to kiss your parents goodnight
• Go lightly on criticism and heavy on the praise
• Take time to be quiet sometimes - your private thoughts are worth having
• There is nothing you cannot tell Daddy or me, always feel free to talk

Fair Days

     We went to the county fair yesterday.  All of us.  In case this sounds like a big "so what?" to you, let me tell you it was an accomplishment of nearly epic proportions for our family.   Our eldest son's autism will manifest itself as MAJOR social anxiety when it comes to outings that are unknown.   We had never been to this fair - so it was a big unknown.
      I grew up in Connecticut where we had "The Great Danbury State Fair" which my mother took us to many times.  (It is now a shopping mall - sigh).  I loved seeing the big animals, the flashing lights, the carousel.  I wanted my children to have similar experiences and memories which, in this technology driven world we live in, are getting tougher to come by. To this end, last year, we went to a local dairy festival - sort of a mini fair - some 4-H animal displays, some vendors, a hay ride and (I kid you not) a lawn tractor pull! This became our Waterloo when, after waiting around for hot dogs, our son asked to go sit in the van to wait. No big deal, he has done this before. When we arrived with the hot dogs, he was gone.  We looked. We called.  We got the security people in their golf carts to drive around searching for him.  They announce his name over the loud speakers and asked him to report to the game table. Nothing.  Finally, they closed off all entrances and exits to the festival until about 5-10 minutes later, he was found - at the lawn tractor pull (and you were wondering why I remembered that part so well)!!
     This event did not make the success of a trip to the county fair seem possible.  After a lot of coaxing, some strategic planning, and some tears - on his part and mine - our eldest joined us in the car.  Now this did not mean we all walked around and did everything together.  However, we started out together looking at the cow barns, and then my husband took the younger two to the midway for rides (both my daughter and my youngest son had never been on a ferris wheel), some skill games (read: we will skillfully take your money if you are game),  and greasy fair fare. My eldest and I saw every animal in the barns - some several times.  We pet all the horses, every cow but one, all the sheep, the goats, many of the pigs, a bunny, saw all the chicken including the pink one and the powder blue one.  We struck up conversations with some of the 4-H participants and learned the names of their animals, the animals' ages, and the numbers from all their ear ID tags. We fed sheep, gave hay to cows, and walked in more manure than I have done in many a year. For a solid two and a half hours we walked the barns, talked to some lovely farmers and even hung out with the Clydesdale for a bit.

        He loved it!

     After nearly three hours of fair fun, we all met up with the intention of going home. This was difficult since our youngest had seen a stuffed crocodile toy he REALLY wanted to win, but had no way of doing so as it was a very tricky game, our daughter really wanted a funnel cake and our eldest really wanted to stay with the cows.  Twenty minutes of negotiating the last edges of the animal tents, he and I walked through the midway with its flashing lights and increasing crowds getting him more and more agitated, and searched for the car.  Our daughter got her funnel cake, our youngest was allowed a chance to play a different game where children always get a prize (a suction cup bow and arrow set which he is very proud of) and we all made it home to eat dinner  by 8:30.
       Typical - no. Successful - oh yes.  Everyone did something they liked. All the fair entrances remained open the entire time we were there. My son and I made many new animal friends (thank you Penny the sheep and Bazooka the cow!) and everyone came back happy.  Even me.
    

Summer Salads

I love when food looks pretty as well as tastes good.  Summer salads are often so much prettier than winter ones.  Here is last night's example:

Boston and iceberg lettuces, red grapes, blue borage blossoms, orange nasturtium flowers, purslane

The flowers and the purslane were from our garden; the lettuces and grapes from the market. 

My husband looping a trailing vine of the winter squash up onto the trellis. As you can see in the left bed, I planted too many tomatoes, but after last year, I couldn't help myself.

     My garden is doing its thing - we are getting pretty good at going vertical - the nasty rose we transplanted/uprooted (which I am waiting for some rosarian to tell me was a rare heirloom) was on an old and somewhat rusty green trellis. Instead of ditching it, we gave it a new life for another season or two - before it rusts through - as a squash trellis.

Winter squash to the left of photo, cucumber and a small watermelon on the  right side, unmown grass all around, and husband in the center being silly. 

The two bean towers on the right are loaded, as is the bamboo teepee in front of them.  I went a little bean crazy!

Hubby being goofy under the hops vines. 

     I have to start researching beer recipes. The hops are doing very well this year, and we will have a crop of aromatic and bitter hops. So I will need to make beer soon.  I make wine, so I do not find the idea daunting, merely the taste testing.  I think most beer tastes like muddy swamp water, so I will depend on my husband and neighbors to let me know when I get it right!

  

Going to the Zoo

    My husband and eldest son are backpacking for a few days.  Last year he took our daughter.  Next year the youngest gets to go camping (not sure he can carry his own pack at his age).  So I thought it would be nice to do something fun with the two who stayed behind.  We went to the zoo.  There are two small zoos within about an hours drive from us.  I chose the one to the north - just a whim - eeny, meeny, mieney, moe, point to the paper and that's where we go.
    I went armed with Mapquest directions that had my daughter and I in stitches.  The zoo is in a town I had been to before, but I couldn't remember the way.  Well, these directions had us touring every small town and corn field, and with one exception, we were on no road for more than 6.3 miles.  A 60 mile drive took about an hour an a half, since we missed the turn off for two of the roads because they are not marked until you turn onto them. Hmm...
    The return trip, we dutifully started reading the reverse instructions and it was evident we were being led home by a different, yet equally circuitous route, so I threw caution to the wind and drove by the seat of my pants.  I am a person who generally does better with land marks than road names anyway, so it wasn't too bad.  At one point I thought I'd gotten us off track, but then a sign for the man who sells elk meat  appeared, and I knew I was still okay.  (Elk meat???) Three roads and an hour after leaving, we were home.
     But the zoo - what a sweet place. I have been to the Bronx Zoo, the San Diego Zoo, the Beardsley Zoo,  the Como Park Zoo in  St. Paul,  a few small European zoos, but I am afraid that in my young adulthood I was quite spoiled by going to school in MD and later living in DC.  There is nothing quite like the National Zoo - it is part of the Smithsonian system, free to the public, and in a word, magnificent.  However, this zoo is quite lovely. Part zoo, part garden/forest trail, they had a children's zoo which allowed us to pet and feed goats, sheep, and alpacas.  We saw the 3 pm feeding of the sea lions along with a short discussion of their care, habits and habitat.  This zoo is too small for pachyderms, but the two bactrian camels seemed to be a fine substitute.  There was even a Siberian tiger, which, I will admit, looked a little lonely, but healthy.

Siberian (or Amur) tiger

The alligators were a big hit with my son, especially when the male decided to raise its head, move it 6 inches to the right and shift the position of 2 of its feet while we were watching.  (They are not the most active animals on a warm summer afternoon!) The tortoises even chose this  afternoon to practice their mating techniques - my four year old thought it very funny!

Cotton topped tamarin

    The primates were few, but active and included two type of tamarins and white handed gibbons who hooted and howled at earsplitting volume.

 The reptile house has a surprising number of snakes and lizards. Another hit. I thought once around the zoo was enough, but before we left we had to see the tortoises and alligators again, the reptile house and stop to buy each child a small souvenir necklace
     We left the zoo and decided on a dinner with things we really wanted to eat. So a quick stop at the store and our day ended with herbed snapper, ambrosia, corn, and hot fudge sundaes for dessert. Perhaps no the most well balanced of dinners, but yummy, and sometimes that is okay too!

tech week

     In dress rehearsals for Last of the Boys.  It is going well - interesting show - I like parts of it better than others, but the ending makes me cry - every time.  Let's hear it for wonderful actors!  
     The first day of dress rehearsals one of the lead actors came in with a broken big toe - special shoe thingy on his foot.  Ouch.  Next night - yesterday, we had three violent thunder storms in a row. At about 4:30 the director had to leave to remove the tree that had fallen on part of his house.  After he left, the second part of the storm came, and as I stood watching it, half of a maple tree next to the theatre just broke off and fell across the neighbor's driveway.  This huge tree was apparently rotten through the core, so there was no loud crack, just a lot of swaying and then,  thump.
     If the first two days were like this - do we really want to know what is in store for tonight's final dress?

Growing up

    Today my four year old went to a party - without his parents - and it was an "away" party.  His friend had a party a a Chucky Cheese (sp?) which was about an hour away.  He rode in the car with his friends and went to the arcade and had a great time!  He was so excited!   He is "all grown up"!
    Afterwards,  I had to go to the theatre for fittings for the show I am working on.  As my husband is out of town, I took the kids, a picnic lunch/dinner, a complete change of clothes for each child, two gallons of wash water, three quarts of drinking water, baseball caps for all, and a frog trap (old plastic fish tank for our beta) and  let them play in the frog pond behind the theatre while I dressed actors.   They had a great time - were the happy trappers of 6 frogs (all released), were covered in pond muck and slime, stank to the high heavens, and were very happy.
    After sluicing them with the hose from the theatre - they'd used up the 2 gallons of water before I got there, I had them change in the car and we headed home. After about 5 minutes of tickling me with a bullrush, my four year old fell asleep.
    Such a busy day for a little man.  When I carried him in from the car, I realized he may be all grown up - kindergarten in the fall - but he is still my baby...

So busy

   Back from Baltimore where we finished clearing out my mother-in-law's house and closed on it.  All done.  Of course we brought home another two car loads of "stuff" - some last minute things that we needed until the end like lamps, brooms, buckets and so on, and a lot of other things like books, mementos, etc.  Our house looks like a tag sale exploded in the lower floors.
   When my dear husband  finishes the run of this play, we may have a week or two to try to cull and organize before having to turn our minds to the next school year.   I have dress rehearsals for the show, The Last of the Boys next week.  If anyone has a good web site  for understanding what pins/ribbons/patches were worn on class A uniforms for Spec 4 soldiers in Viet Nam, please let me know. Thanks.
     Can't wait for the show to be done as it have a small break before starting the last show of the season.  We bring in a package musical for the third show, which I do not have anything to do with, so I can think of other things.  This show is interesting - two vets in 1999 with differing perspectives on the war - we see Robert McNamara, a dead soldier, all sorts of good things.
      The garden is growing fabulously - the heat has made the curcurbitae leap  into a growth spurt.  We have winter squash and  cukes climbing the trellis, the summer squash are finally setting blossoms, and the watermelon is still trying. Cucumber salad is on the menu for tomorrow night.  As I suspected, the lower garden bed which was washed out soon after planting has an interesting pattern of growth.  I found some red iceberg lettuce growing on the edge of the lawn, carrots are sprinkled through out the bed. and one tiny clump of basil held its ground.   The big stuff is fine - the squash, cucumbers and tomatoes, even the borage did well and stayed put.  Just the tiny seeds floated around to make a serendipitous garden emerge.  Need to get out there with a hoe - I have been weeding a handful at a time, and the weeds are winning!
    The cotton is an interesting experiment.  The cotton in one bed has basically given up the ghost - the ground there is pretty awful - hard and full of rocks.  Some in another bed is doing okay, but it is getting too much shade, I think, as the hops vines are overshadowing it in the afternoon.  I have three in pots and two have gotten much bigger and are looking good, one is not doing as well.  The ones in the plastic pots are the best.  Things to remember for next year...