Expectations and letting go

  I think every parent has an expectation that Christmas is going to be the way it was in their rosy childhood memories.  As the parent of a child with autism, you need to let go of this.  For years I tried to make the Christmas we were celebrating be like Christmas from my youth, and in the process, I stressed myself to the point of snapping,  I stressed out the kids and no one had a great time.
   So now, I create things that we can do together or not.  We were making cookies today.  My eldest is best at eating them, my middle child at stressing over her youngest brother "messing things up" and the youngest just wants to get through the process.   I make the cookies - they eat them, it works.  Do we have huge decorating sessions?  No - too much pressure.
   We are having a Christmas dinner which is less than traditional: ham, mashed potatoes, corn (because the boys do not like mashed potatoes), french fries - see previous explanation, cranberry bread, green beans but without any sauce or stuff on it so the boys will eat them, salad - just in case the youngest won't eat the beans, apple pie and pecan pie.  No pumpkin because between picky eaters and lactose intolerant  intestines, I would be eating it alone.  No sweet potatoes for much of the same reasons.
   We will open presents and hang out until  we want to eat, then eat, maybe take the dog for a walk, and hang out some more.
   I am taking the younger two to church tonight, so Christmas morning has no "have to's" attached to it.  It is all about  trying to enjoy the time - everyone in their own way.  If this means watching movies - daughter, okay.  If it means knitting - me, fine.  Doing puzzles? great. Sleeping? fine.  Learning to let go of expectations has been the toughest part of living in  an autism family.  Maybe it is the same in any family?  Ultimately, it is about peace - on Earth, towards your fellow man/woman, and more importantly, for us, peace under our own roof.
  Have a Merry Christmas.

Christmas is A'comin'

     My youngest woke me at 6:10 this morning.  We watched the snow falling - enough to feel festive, not like a chore.  After eating breakfast I finished up some Christmas present knitting. (No posts for the 52 Project since a lot of the uses are for Christmas gifts.)  We went to the store to get ingredients for some special presents we are making.  After returning we discovered that the washing machine is acting up and may, indeed be broken.  I finished drying my son's Cub Scout shirt with the hair dryer and  we went to the retirement home to sing carols.  We took my daughter along to insure some extra vocal power.  It was a great hour or so of singing and visiting, and drinking chocolate milk and eating cupcakes.  We were shown all the Christmas decorations in the great room, and told the history of some of them. (They were the decorations that graced the windows of Bresee's Department Store, which was a major store on Main Street until  about 5 years ago when they closed.)  The residents and I had a wonderful chat about the history of it.  I was so proud of my son.  He talked to most of  the residents, shook hands, and even danced for a pair of the ladies! Not too shabby for age six.
    Tonight we head off to a party with many of our theatre friends.  Last night  my husband and I went to dinner and a movie. (Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows  - a fun romp!)  I am not certain  if I can handle two social outings in one weekend - it is so unusual for us!
    I hope you all have a wonderful week leading up to Christmas.

Anniversary

  Twenty years ago my husband and I were married.  So much has changed and so much has remained the same over the years.   That little baby I am holding is now 20 years old and about 6'3" and my sweet little flower girl niece is finishing her masters degree.  Our ring-bearer nephew is much taller, has a degree from Georgetown University, but he still looks good when he dresses up!  My husband and I are the proud parents of three children, have moved more times than I want to count, and we keep unusual hours due to our two chosen professions.  But over all it is a great life and I am looking forward to the next twenty years

Tommy, Aunt Barby, MP and Panda

Eating wedding cake and almost choking on it! (really!)

Drew and his Gran
(I want my legs to look that good when I am 86!)

Things you do not want

   This afternoon, after dragging all the Christmas boxes out of the attic, a former student and friend of my husband's dropped in unexpectedly.  It was great to see him, and later, his wife, but timing was not good.  Then, while he was there, our eldest had a meltdown - quite common as the holidays approach.  While this was happening I was in the kitchen making popcorn for stringing on the outside trees.  I heard my eldest race out  the front door screaming at the top of his lungs, wearing no coat and no shoes (it was mid 30s today), and then my youngest crying upstairs.  I ran up to  check on/comfort my youngest, and after a few minutes of patting and reading a book, I smelled something.  At that same time, so did our guest, and so did my husband  - who  had just walked in the door with our eldest in tow.
    The kitchen, dining room and foyer were rapidly filling with smoke from the burnt popcorn.

An open window is not what I suggest on a cold winter day...

unless this is waiting on the stove

I thought the pan was a complete goner, but it is cleaning up better than I thought it would

Our entire house still wreaks of it, even though we opened every door and window,  I have been washing things, burning candles, spraying Lysol and Febreze and generally doing whatever I can to rid the house of  the stench.  Please feel free to give me any suggestions as to how to rid the house of the smell.  Short of an ozone generator, I am out of ideas.

Sending Christmas Cards

  I used to be a lot better at this when the kids were smaller.  I do not know how?  Maybe I wrote them after they went to bed?  Maybe I was better organized?  I do recall one year starting to write them in October while sitting in the waiting room of my son's gymnastics class each week.  A gentleman passed  me, stopped and walked back and said, "My wife would hate you!"
   In hope of getting the children - or at least my youngest involved, we will make a few today.  here is a link for some good images: http://countdown.tentwostudios.com.  You get new images of Christmas past each day for free or you can download the whole bunch for  a price.  I am frugal, so one a day is fine for me.
    I think  making cookies is in order for the day as well!

Dinosaur Decorations

    We are currently the proud owners of a designer Christmas tree, decorated by our resident paleontologist.  We put the tree up last weekend, but did not have time for decorating until this weekend. So our youngest took it upon himself to add a touch of whimsy to the tree.

a reptile/dino tree

a solar flashlight - because all trees need lights!

T-rex will keep you from peeking at your gifts too soon!

the velociraptor ready to leap on naughty children

I won't even try to guess. 

California for Thanksgiving

    I popped out to California for the week of thanksgiving.  My youngest sister had spinal surgery and I was there to  help out, drive her to  the doctor, etc.  My eldest sister was there for the week after the surgery - she had the trickier  time of it.  Mine was week 2 so I was not as critically necessary.  It was nice to spend some time with my sister, and brother-in-law.
   I flew out of Albany to Boston in a tiny Cessna. It held ten people, one of whom was the pilot.  I swear I have been in vans that are larger!  From Boston it was a non-stop to CA.

"We Flap Harder" Airlines

The pilot of this plane was very puzzled as to why I was taking his photo!

    Driving up from San Jose to their house was gorgeous.  Here is a look at the San Luis Reservoir which I drove past.

Windmill farm on the top of the hill

   Thanksgiving was a feast - but I am not used to cooking for only three people, so we had a ton of food!

For having had spinal surgery just two weeks earlier, she was pretty mobile!

Lest you think the 52 Project has fallen by the wayside, let me assure you it has not.  I made a hat for my son, while in CA, but did not take a photo.  I also completed my first sock.  

Okay, maybe this only half counts, since it is not a pair, so there is still some yarn in the stash, but it took me over a year to do.  I worked on it last Christmas  while traveling, then put it down after we came home and just picked it up out of the unfinished projects bin.  It is my very first sock. This is my second attempt - I tried socks once before, and spent more time pulling out stitches and getting used to double pointed needles than I did  actually completing the sock. It  is currently languishing in the unfinished pile.    I have pretty much been a self-taught knitter.  I learned the very basics from my mom when I was little, but the rest I have parsed out from books and articles. So this sock, knitted in Patons Stretch Sock ( a blend of cotton, wool, acrylic and nylon) is an accomplishment. (And it actually fits me!) The REAL accomplishment, however, will be getting both done and wearing them!

     This week I also began knitting some Christmas presents which I cannot speak about. 

November

I wish the end of year holidays were spread out a bit more.  How about we keep Thanks giving in Nov.  but move Christmas to February to give everyone a chance to breathe as their turkey is digesting before they are inundated with the Christmas shopping frenzy?
    November began with the opening of She Stoops to Conquer at the college.  I designed the costume look, renting some and building others.  The wigs were created by a wonderfully talented young man who has returned to school for a computer graphics  degree after having gotten  a degree in theatre.  Without the wigs, the show would have looked flat and boring!
    Here are a few shots.

Marlowe and Kate in her plain dress

Mrs. Hardcastle, Mr. Hardcastle and Tony Lumpkin

Tony at the tavern

The seeds of deception being planted

Diary of Anne Frank

Here are a few shots of The Diary of Anne Frank, which we closed a couple weeks ago.  It was a wonderful cast and they gave a truly touching portrayal of these very brave people.

Mr. Kraller brings Mr. Dussell to the annex

Hanukkah

caught stealing bread

Summer Show Number 2

A few more shots of this summer's shows.  This is from Rounding Third with my husband and Jack Harris  creating the wonderfully funny Little League fathers who are the characters for the show.

the geeky non-baseball dad and the veteran coach

Please God, let him catch this ball.

agreement

A few things that have been keeping me busy

   Since  the end of last school year, I have been doing one show or another in succession - and sometimes concurrently - so I have been a bit busy, distracted, incommunicado - you choose.  here are s few shots of some of my work since last May.
   The following are shots from Chenango River Theatre's production of Almost Maine, for which I designed the costumes.

Halloween a little late

   Par for the way life is running these days, I am about a week behind in posting the Halloween costumes.  Hubby has better ones but they are lock in his Ipod in his pocket at this moment.  Younger son was a peregrine falcon - or a  reasonable facsimile thereof.

My daughter was WINTER.  It was a "stitch it together t-tunic - throw on a few snowflakes and slap some blue and silver make up on under a tinsel wig, last minute, She forgot to plan ahead" type costume.  As she walked out the door to go to the parade (required marching band assignment) she said,  "I think I'll plan better next year."  Some lessons must be learned not taught!



PS For the 52 Project the falcon  finished off the weird fuzzy fabric that looked like the falcon's pin feathers as well as a bunch of black felt for the feathers.

A bee report

Saw this and thought it worth sharing.  Bees and pesticides.  Just a bit of info about the things we are doing to ourselves via our agricultural practices.

Seasons end

   Really - we are ending all sorts of seasons around here!   Yesterday was the last race of my son's Cross Country season - he ran his personal best time.  Only the States are left, but just one guy from his team qualified for that.
   Tonight is the Women's Varsity Swim Team  banquet.  My daughter still has State qualifiers to swim in  - or perhaps it is the All Conference meet - I get confused!
   We have ended autumn rather abruptly.  Two days ago we got a strong dusting of snow, and last night an inch or two.  There are still leaves on the trees, so I am glad we did not get the 8 inches some of my students had said we were in for!
     Lest you think the 52 Project has ended just because I am in tech, fear not.  With the Halloween tomorrow, I have been taking a bus man's holiday each evening and making a peregrine falcon costume for my youngest son.  In doing so I have used up a couple yards of black felt, as well as a big chunk of  a hairy knit fabric, which I had bought because I loved the texture. I had intended to make a sweater-y jacket for myself, but when I got it home I realized I did not really need to wear something that made me look like a mutt from the pound!  Photos when I get batteries for the camera!

My World, and Welcome To It!

   When we are in tech week for shows, all bets are off - laundry gets washed and dried, but piles up in the baskets.  The  dishes get done, but usually not right away.  The rug is not vacuumed.  This is just the way it is when you leave first thing in the morning and don't get home for more than half an hour before you leave again and  return around midnight.  Welcome to life in a double theatre-artist home.
   Do not ask me what our excuse is this week...   Tech does not start for another week and yet the house is a wreck.  We have consumed take out food and pizza this week, and had the great time saving "breakfast for dinner" option. Do not go in the laundry room, you may not come out.  The possibility of a clean clothing avalanche is very real!
    It has been a trickier week as we navigate the kids' schedules with the addition of our daughter's dress rehearsals for the high school play.  Can you say Insanity?  I can.
    Last night, to top things off, my husband opened the refrigerator  to get something and this happened.

It is black cherry yogurt... on the ceiling.  As he opened the door, the container fell and must have hit the floor squarely on the container bottom.  The foil lid burst, and a geyser of pink flew up to decorate the unsullied white above.   He started to curse.  I started to laugh.  After all, when you have pink goo threatening to drip on your husband's head, what else should you do?  Aside from hand him a wet towel, of course.

Fall and 52

   This morning was gorgeous - sunny, breezy, and then this afternoon it all changed.  It is raw and rainy and windy in earnest.  The perfect day for making cookies and sewing.  I finished another pair of pj's for my youngest - he is sorely in need of them after growing several inches over the past year.  These go back to his perennial favorite pattern choice; a jumpsuit style but with no feet, nor any elastics at the ankles or wrists.  And of course, in a dinosaur fabric.

so solemn

Better than a Lacoste alligator in his opinion!

      So I have week 2 of the 52 project taken care of - although I see some fabric donations in the offing soon, as I have the  right fabric for my show sitting in a bin in my  basement.

Week # 1 of The 52 Project

 


   Well, I never said they had to be beautiful... I whipped up a pair of pajama pants for my son tonight. They are flannel and very soft - and extra baggy.  Of course, the rise is cut so he can wear them around his waist, but he only wears pants just above his hips, so the seat bags a bit - but, "Done is Good!"
    The score is now pj drawer: +1, basement bins: - 1 and counting.  I have cut another pair of pajamas - this set is a full sleeper, but with no feet - my son's feet are always hot at night.  He also prefers I not put elastic at the  cuff or ankles so he can push the legs and sleeves up if he gets warm. If I can keep this up, I may actually use fabrics in the season they were intended for!  What a concept!
   Bon nuit, mes amis.

Gorgeous Autumn Day

As we often do on weekends, we went for a ramble this afternoon.  The weather was fine - sunny, and very warm for October. We wandered through the colour changing trees, and investigated the pond. We found several frogs, and at least two gorgeous garter snakes. We climbed the hill and talked to bird watchers, and were gifted with the sight of a golden eagle being chased by a sharp shinned hawk as they circled above our heads.  Truly magnificent against the clear blue sky.  We took some photos and ran the dog, and we all came home happy. 

Trying for a  group photo - we found a place with better lighting later. 

One of the best things about being a six year old boy is searching for frogs.

One of the best things about being a frog is camouflage.

Even Mommy and Daddy get their picture taken, but the perspective makes him look very large and me look very small - neither of which is very true!